I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize