Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
