Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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