So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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