Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize