Apparently you make a good broom.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
