every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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