I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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