i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
