VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
