I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
