you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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