if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Oh god it's open bar.
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