There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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