he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
