Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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