Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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