I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
