I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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