apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize