we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't deserve a penis
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize