I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
