may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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