we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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