:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
