I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
