Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
