I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
