you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
