i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Shame - the story of my life.
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