She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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