I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
