people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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