If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
