So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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