I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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