I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
