I look better un-naked...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
