we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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