Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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