Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
