So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
