sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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