I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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