Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sext me about skeletons
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
