I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
