Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
