you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
NoShamevember. You game?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
