everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
