it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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