: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
