just come out here and I will go home with you...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
