I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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