After last night, I could never be a politician.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Bring me that man meat
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