i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
