plz talk dirty to me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I deserve this hangover.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
