Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
