I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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