I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
