I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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