I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
