Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
