i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
