SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My ATM looks so different sober.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize