You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You did what with his pubic hair?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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