i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
