Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
