4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
