Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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