The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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