I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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